Twenty four years of existence and here comes the question of self-knowing. Who am I? A complex creation that can never be defined by a single phenomenon. Let me start it this way...
I am an eight son of both farmers from a far-flung barrio of the North. Lost my father when I am seven years old and battled through the waves of life the rest of the way, with my siblings of nine. I have finished my elementary years at my barrio, moved to other place during high school and college years. Moving away was tough but I thought complaining can do less. Nonetheless, I learned much in a way being away from home and it is something I cannot trade of. Hard ways were my ways, I am a master procrastinator and life passed my years very fast procrastinating every time.
Who Am I? What else can I say? I am a conscious body that has the power to create and destroy. I always thought of this power on me and how powerful can it be when used properly. I am confident that I can learn, love, socialize, and all sorts of extending this consciousness to the extent.I can make decisions, I control the things around me. I don't have enough money but I am sure I can have that in the future. Conscious as I am, I am capable of influencing others in a way that I want them to be. I think anyone has that power to make such influence. After all, man is the highest level of an animal. An animal still, yet we are capable of creating values and not just act according to the instincts.
Man has essence and Existence. Yes, I learned it from my Philosophy studies. But how can I totally defined my totality? Can it be possible that I can define solely my essence? Do essence and existence can totally define my totality of being. If essence something pertains to everything what my freedom is capable of then I think it can be possible. But as far as I am aware of, freedom in the first place always have limitations. So man in relation to freedom he is being bounded by limitation. His meaning now is being aggravated by the situations but I thought it will always be a part of it regardless. All of us is bounded with limitations as necessity, yes but I can't stop my self from thinking about the possibility of what if there is no one holding us back?
Realizing this, meaning or knowing who I am cannot be disassociated with where am I. Yes, I am capable of creating, doing and making my own essence but I have to submit also to the collective individuals around me. Sadly, this in a way limits me, but not totally. Society after all has to create values to be shared of and that me as a member of it is being called to participate too. Who Am I? I am my possibilities of creating with limitations at hand. But don't be lulled into complacency. There is something more in creating meaning than arguing what could it be without those limited situations. The fact that we can create, this is the boldest thing I can lie my self into. In relation to meaning, creating the self on the way I want it to be is seems so limitless that even a hundred years of a life span cannot totally exhaust everything.
We are being defined by what values we create. What defines me are things that I do, the decisions that I made, the values I lived into, and the values I create. With this, everything matters as everything becomes a part of me. So defines the real me? When I have my viewpoints about my self, others always has something to say about you as a person. Yes, I am capable of knowing myself, yet will I discredit other's view of me as they experience me personally? This I think sometimes create confusion. Most of the times I complain about why I am view that way but collectively that is how others sees me. I may be wrong, they may be wrong but I think, other's opinion necessary as it is, cannot be always right. This is a bigger problem I though most of the people low-keyed into. There are times, people are submitting to the demands of the collective power where they belong unknowingly submitting themselves to the standard. But society and people can never be right at all times. Base on my observations, some societies can be submissive to an individual power. A powerful man can build a society with a people supporting him at all cost. So how can we submit wholly to the standard of the society that is flawed?
So who am I? I think I have said a lot but it seems I am jiving into this narrative. But seriously, I am a unique just like all others. I am a sum of my experiences plus the freedom, values and ideas that I could possibly be. I am everything, not isolated into parts but the totality of what I could be. Meaning is limitless, so knowing my self cannot be fully answered yet as of this moment. I can still do a lot of things, I can still create, I can still share my ideas and values that I valued, I am everything as long as I am alive. And all of the things I would do, may it be good or not can be a part of my self-knowing.
